QUESTION: How can I learn about mystic sex? My husband and I have an okay sex life, but I miss that feeling of merging into another world with him that we had when we first started making love.


ANSWER: It was a wonderful feeling, wasn't it? His skin almost evaporating, so that you felt you could merge right into his body?
Most of the time, this feeling does fade with the impact of the angers and familiarities of marriage. Your sex was pure in the beginning. You weren't disappointed yet. You trusted him and were open. In time, this changes to some degree.
But all is not lost. It doesn't seem to me that "familiarity breeds contempt," as some would say. But, if you will, think of how even children who love their toys like nobody can will grow bored with a special toy.
To some degree, this is what happens with married couples. With Mystic Sex, however, this boredom isn't important. Try this:
When you are making love, breathe in rhythm with your beloved. Follow his breath. Breathe in when he does, and breathe out when he does. What will happen? Your nervous systems and heart rates will synchronize to some degree.
And your mind will not be drifting. You will have "Continuity of Attention," which is the key to Tantric attainment in the Skillful Use of Pleasure.
Now enter into intercourse. And become still. Touch each other delicately and don't strive for orgasm. Stay like that for half an hour. Does that seem a long time? Sleep, if you like. Talk. Read poetry to each other. Look out the window. Follow his breath. Hum. Recite a prayer or mantra. Put the fingers of one hand on his heart and the fingers of another hand on his leg or face. Over the period of several minutes, be still and feel. You'll often slowly experience a pulsing in your fingers. You're allowing your husband's energy and life force in his acupuncture meridian circuits to charge and to boost his immune system.
Become more active and resume lovemaking the way you usually do after this interlude. This is just one of many tantric interludes you can learn.
So what is the point of all this? It allows you to utilize sexuality for healing, for meditation, for many things other than sexual pleasure. Qigong (working with life force) during lovemaking will keep you healthier. Merging with your husband will happen again spontaneously during interludes like this. Read my books for more lovemaking interlude ideas. Concentrate on this. Thank you for your question. Be free. Breathe deep.

Weekly Q&A